I really enjoyed reading through your profile and decided to send a quick little message to say hi. If you want to message me back, that’s cool. If not, that’s also cool. I’m not really sure what else to say! Lol
— some dude on okcupid. It’s cute, I guess, but pretty boring, sorry. You’ve got to try a little harder than, “uh, i dont know what else to say.” and be more confident.. “when you message me back tell me you think im the shit.”
I’m sorry, I’m currently too busy making out with myself to reply to your messages, ladies.
You are gorgeous, and zoolander was a great flick, and I wish I would meet someone like u one day, so that they can teach me there is more 2 life then just being stuck in the hood.s
— Plenty of Fish message. (via girlmeetsboymeetsfood)
36 Y.O Male - Tompkins Cove, NY
(He sent me a picture of his abs - or lack there of - along with this note)
hey , your a hottie.can i be your sugar daddy? i would love to rock your world baby. i would spoil you like craze but do i get spoiled back wink wink ;)i am very good looking i have more pics if u like.IF NOT SORRY!! i like to have fun do you? ttyl cutie
13 Year Old MMORPG
Him: (sometime after seeing my Runescape character) Hey where are you?!
Me: Uhh do I know you?
Him: I like you! Do you like me?
Me: Uhh no...
Him: I think you're hot!!
Me: Oh fantastic! Are you a guy?!
Me: I'm a guy too!
Him: WHAT THE HECK!? I THOUGHT I SAW BOOBS!
Me: Are you sure it was me? My character's a guy [LIES]
Him: But you had BOOBS! Do guys have boobs as big as girls do too?
Me: I'm afraid so :\ Are you sure you're not gay? I mean you found me hot....not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm cool with gay people.
Him: I'm not gay. I just saw your girl character and called you hot.
Me: So you just call every single girl character hot? Dude you need to work on your game.
Him: No I saw your character and thought she was hot!
Me: My character's a dude >.> And I'm a guy. Who likes girls.
Him: I like girls too. Do you know any teenage girls who are into 13 year old gamers?
Me: (starts feeling kinda sorry for playing with the dude) Naw dude. Go find some irl. Dating on RS is pathetic.
Him: I suck at dating irl. The only reason I date on RS is so I can be better at it!
Me: Dating on RS is not gonna make you better -.-
Him: I'm just waiting for the girl that's meant to be in my life
Me: And she's on RS?
Him: No I meant irl. And I'm training my dating skills in RS for her!
Me: Oh...well RS isn't gonna make you any better. I gtg, bye! *ignore listed*
— One woman’s complete, [sic]ening entry in the “I spend a lot of time thinking about” section of her OKCupid profile (via mwolman)
Hey, you’re very cute, but your grammar sucks.
Hahaha, I’m not sure how I feel about this validation of my self-confidence. It’s a fucking robot.
whats up? how are you? a 90% match is pretty good :) wanna get a drink sometime?
— some dude, put all his eggs in meaningless statistics.